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lore:humor

Misc Humorous stuff collected on the net

A scary /etc/issue

          .                                                      .
        .n                   .                 .                  n.
  .   .dP                  dP                   9b                 9b.    .
 4    qXb         .       dX                     Xb       .        dXp     t
dX.    9Xb      .dXb    __                         __    dXb.     dXP     .Xb
9XXb._       _.dXXXXb dXXXXbo.                 .odXXXXb dXXXXb._       _.dXXP
 9XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXXXXXXXOo.           .oOXXXXXXXXVXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXP
  `9XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX'~   ~`OOO8b   d8OOO'~   ~`XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXP'
    `9XXXXXXXXXXXP' `9XX'   GO     `98v8P'    AWAY  `XXP' `9XXXXXXXXXXXP'
        ~~~~~~~       9X.          .db|db.          .XP       ~~~~~~~
                        )b.  .dbo.dP'`v'`9b.odb.  .dX(
                      ,dXXXXXXXXXXXb     dXXXXXXXXXXXb.
                     dXXXXXXXXXXXP'   .   `9XXXXXXXXXXXb
                    dXXXXXXXXXXXXb   d|b   dXXXXXXXXXXXXb
                    9XXb'   `XXXXXb.dX|Xb.dXXXXX'   `dXXP
                     `'      9XXXXXX(   )XXXXXXP      `'
                              XXXX X.`v'.X XXXX
                              XP^X'`b   d'`X^XX
                              X. 9  `   '  P )X
                              `b  `       '  d'
                               `             '


                            TRY ANOTHER COMPUTER
                          SATAN IS INSIDE THIS ONE

Dilbert on Unix users

dilbert-unix.jpg

Top posting (in Italian)

R: Perché inverte l'ordine in cui le persone normalmente leggono un testo.
D: Perché il top-posting è una cosa così cattiva?
R: Il top-posting.
D: Qual è la cosa più fastidiosa in Usenet e nell'e-mail?

R: No.
D: Devo riportare il testo originale dopo la mia risposta?

Top posting (in English)

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet and in e-mail?

An email disclaimer

NOTICE: This communication may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, or believe that you have received this communication in error, you are obligated to kill yourself and anyone else who may have read it, not necessarily in that order. So there. My disclaimer is scarier than yours. Nyaah. You started this silly nonsense. Knock it off and I will too, ok? It is a tragic waste of perfectly good CPU cycles, storage, and bandwidth. Nobody reads it anyway. You're not actually reading this, are you? I didn't think so.
— Jay Hennigan on NANOG

Windows and the Real Men (in Italian)

Son giunto alla conclusione che, almeno una volta nella vita, bisogna usare Windows a fondo, perché è un'esperienza che rende uomini.
Almeno, io, dopo, ho sempre due palle così.
— Leonardo Serni

No backups ?

At network engineering school, they told us that there's a special phrase you'll need to learn if you don't do back ups.
The phrase is “Do you want fries with that?”
— insickness on SE

Hard working

This guy asks me: “how many people work in your company ?”
My answer: “about a third”.
— collected on bash.org

NANOGers and shamans

You're talking about a group of people who are paid large sums of money for their ability to communicate with inanimate objects made of melted sand. Ever since the first shaman back in caveman days, this skill has been understood to go hand-in-hand with weirdness and odd behavior (“Father, why does talks-to-trees hop around humming to himself?” “Because he talks to trees…”)
— Valdis Kletnieks on NANOG ML

Ubuntu

Ubuntu is an ancient African word meaning “I can't configure Debian”

Read this as fast as you can...

The Hmuan biran is a pwoerufl mcahnie!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt

Your code is so bad...

Your code is 100% bogus and should be taken out the back, lined up against a wall, and machine-gunned.
Then the bleeding corpse should be hung, drawn and quartered.
Then burnt.
Then the smouldering rubble should be jumped up and down on.
By a hippo.
— Dave Korn

lore/humor.txt · Last modified: 2015/06/08 14:32 by ap

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